Uzbek couples: talk about divorce before wedding

Today's Uzbek ethnic group continues to follow their traditional customs and etiquettes in marriage. According to their customs, the eldest child should marry first. Younger brothers or sisters shouldn't get married before their elder brothers or sisters.

Marriages between people in the Uzbek ethnic group should include three steps: the marriage proposal, the exchange of betrothal gifts and the wedding ceremony. The first two steps are similar to those of other ethnic groups. But wedding ceremonies of Uzbek people are quite unique with distinctive features.

Divorce Compensation

Before the wedding ceremony begins, the bride and groom's parents ....

should negotiate together with the matchmaker about the issue of "divorce compensation." The so-called "divorce compensation" is the money that the husband needs to pay his wife if he seeks a divorce after marriage. For Uzbek people, divorce is a shameful thing. A happy and affectionate married life is adorable and definitely the pride of the newlywed couple.

This is perhaps the reason why divorce is so scarce in this ethnic group. However if there is no way for a couple to continue with their marriage under any circumstances the husband will ask for a divorce. Then the wife can take back her betrothal gifts and ask for a certain amount of "divorce compensation" from her husband.

The divorce compensation is negotiated before the wedding ceremony, thus it becomes a kind of restriction or prohibition on those flirtatious men who are keen on seeking new relationships.

Wedding Held at Bride's Home

According to custom, Uzbek wedding ceremonies are held at the bride's parents' home at night. Lamps and lights illuminate the darkness of the beautiful night. The bride's family must treat their guests to shouzhuafan (rice eaten with hands).

The wedding ceremony will be presided over by an imam. The imam will read the Koran and ask if the couple are willing to marry each other. After the couple exchanges their vows, the imam will distribute a part of the salted nang (a kind of crispy flat bread) to the bride and groom. This action is regarded as the most meaningful part of the whole wedding ceremony.

The Uzbeks highly value salt and they think salt can improve a relationship between a couple; on the other hand, Nang is the indispensable staple food of the Uzbeks. For this reason, the combination of nang and salt implies that the newlyweds will remain emotionally bonded to each other forever.

After the wedding ceremony, the bride will go to the groom's home accompanied by the groom and guests from the groom's side.

Moving Bride Ceremony

When the bride arrives at the groom's home, a "moving bride ceremony" will be held there.

For this ceremony, friends and relatives of the bride come to the groom's house to take the bride away from her new home. If the groom is unwilling to let his wife go, he has to bring more gifts to his parents-in-law's in order to "win back" the bride. According to traditions, the bride should hold her mother and cry aloud to show her reluctancy to leave her mother. The bride's father, at this moment, should pray to Allah to bless on his daughter. After the whole process is finished, the bride will happily move to her parents-in-law's home.

This time, the bride will be accompnied by an highly-esteemed old woman from her own family or her sister-in-law to the groom's home. After the groom wins back his bride, his family members will set up a bonfire in the courtyard. The bride is supposed to circle around the fire before stepping on the white cloth which leads into the room. This demonstrates her ending of the age of innocence and her starting of a lifetime love relationship with her husband.

When the bride enters the room, hosts from the groom's side will throw fruit and candy at the guests. Guests will eagerly gather up the fruit and candy in order to express their congratulations towards the newlyweds, wishing them to settle down and start a happy family soon. Those people who have escorted the bride, except the esteemed elder woman, will leave the happy crowd this moment.